Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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