and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
