I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
