It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
4 words: hood of his car
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
