no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
