WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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