You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
