I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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