I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
