Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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