i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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