ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
