Buhtt sex?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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