True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
