He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
