just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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