no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
