so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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