apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
