why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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