I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
