my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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