he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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