what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
