you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
