just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
