Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
