So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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