Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
false alarm, still single
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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