Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She bit a glass in half.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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