wakey wakey hands off snakey
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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