stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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