I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
sarcasm needs its own font
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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