Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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