what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
