i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
