if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
