Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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