the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
