Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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