See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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