If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
