So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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