i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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