dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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