Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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