Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
