So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
