Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
