google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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