God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
