I wanna passion pit in your ass
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
