he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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